How do we change our thinking when it’s been a way for so long?

I’ve been following Brooke’s public podcast for a while, as well as always read self help books. As Mastin Kipp calls it, “spiritual entertainment,” when you read it, agree with it, but don’t apply it. I struggle so much with the application of all of the self-help I’ve done. For so long, I ignored my inner voice, as it were, that I don’t even really feel like I know what I want. I definitely don’t believe I can have what I want which is partly why I beat it out of me for so long that I am not even sure what I want anymore. How do we set goals when we don’t even know our purpose? I feel all over the place when I set goals and when I set one, one of the first thoughts to come to my mind is “Why do I even want this? What’s the point of achieving this goal? What does this do for me?” I want to connect with that inner self/God whatever again so I feel like my path is more directed. I feel all over the place in every part of my life, yet I don’t even know how to have this connection again.

(for reference, when I did feel like I had that, I accomplished some things in my life that I NEVER would have believed I could do before.. but then I lost that connection and it’s been 7 years since I’ve felt like I had it)