How do we practice really feeling gratitude?


I know I have a tendency to get into my old negative thought patterns and I feel bad, I would say more than that 50% of the time. I’ve learned and read and heard from so many experts, gurus, successful people etc how important gratitude is, but I get frustrated because it becomes robotic feeling for me. I feel fake when I am repeating that I am grateful for something that I’m not feeling gratitude for. Even though I think I SHOULD be grateful for it. So when practicing, I struggle when I can’t find something I truly feel thankful for. Because I don’t think it matters to say or write “I’m grateful for x” when the feeling doesn’t accompany it.

Our feelings come from our thoughts, but even though on some days I do feel grateful for one thing, other days I can’t create the gratitude feeling about the same thing. And that NOT feeling it seems to be more often than not. I want to feel gratitude. I want to feel genuinely thankful for so much that I have, but I don’t. And that brings the thought up that I should be more grateful which turns into self sabotage and ultimately probably even less gratitude. But if gratitude is the answer to changing our thoughts around and creating a better mindset, how do I accept not being able to feel that and how do I practice it so I can begin to feel it? I don’t believe my own thoughts when I try to force myself to thinking I am grateful for something. It’s instantly rejected with “are you ACTUALLY grateful? because you don’t seem like it. you don’t feel it. You’re just doing this out of your morning routine obligation to write down 3-10 things youre grateful for. You’re not really grateful, you’re just doing bullshit homework.”