How do you feel the feeling all the way through without reacting towards the person you’re feeling the feeling about?

Is it ok to tell someone you’re angry with what they did, part of feeling the feeling is sometimes saying it out loud for me and what if the person lives in your house…

My husband offered to move the wash to the dryer which had my clothes for a big work thing I had the next day. The washer wasn’t done and I wanted to do it myself because I wanted to be sure it was done. My husband swore he would handle it for me and encouraged me to go to bed and he would take care of it.

C: i wake up to the wash still in the washer with not enough time to dry before I have to leave the next morning.
T: He cares more about whats on facebook or his phone, he constantly forgets things he says he will do, but he doesn’t forget things he has to do for other people … and thoughts like “hes always on his phone”
F: Annoyed, irritated, frustrated, angry, resentful
A: I tell him I am so mad that he told me he would do this for me, i tell him i can’t count on him. I understand people forget , but the fact that he insisted and I counted on it, that he couldn’t put an alarm on his phone or put a note on his pillow reminding him before he went to bed.
R: we are both angry and yelling at each other. He says he forgot and hes human, i am still mad.

How do i reconcile feeling my feelings yet not let it come out in reactions towards him? I feel like its impossible? I can absolutely change my thought about it as time goes on , i usually do, but i always need that time to be mad and i end up coming across as passive aggressive when im mad because when im mad about something he did i dont want to talk to him. Is it NOT ok to tell him im mad? What do you do when you’re angry with something your husband does, you want to be able to feel the anger but how do you also hold conversations without showing your anger.