I know how to do my job. I’ve been in this particular position for 11 years.
Here’s what’s bothering me about it — I have become interested in what I do. I can remember in my 20’s and early 30’s loving what I did and found it to be so exciting. At the time I thought making commercials and graphic design was the coolest job in the world.
Now in my later 30’s, I am no longer experiencing the thrill. I simply go through the motions of what has to be done, check it off my list and move on. There’s chatter in my mind and it says — for what you bill for your time, you really should be working harder, creating more, doing more, producing more. And the conscious side of my mind is saying “girl you know what you have to get done and you do it, so chill out, working harder is no longer your style.”
I think what’s happening is that I am working smarter and not harder for a few reasons
— I wanted a more balanced work lifestyle – and I have created that by choosing not to be wonder woman do it all with no boundaries — been there done that and that created unneeded stress.
— I have the skills for my position and it is in fact a role that someone has to fill. So, if it isn’t me, then it would be someone else. What better person the fill the position than me!
— My billing rate is standard. These businesses take in millions in profit and need my skill to help. Not only is the GM asking for the help, but the OEM is requiring they advertise and must spend the money. So as much as I think this is a game and they don’t really need me, they do. If I can’t provide the service, then someone else will have to.
— With the revenue I generate, I can certainly hire an assistant to do all the tedious work.
This download is based on all the thoughts I have going on in my mind around showing up confidently to do my job.
Am I on the right track by taking a closer look and unraveling some of these thoughts that are holding me back?
I could do a few different models on the following:
– My billing rate is standard. (thought)
– Hiring an assistant to help me. (result or thought)
– I have the skills to do my job. (thought)
– I want a balanced work and life (result)
– Uninterested (feeling)
– Confident (feeling)
What other questions could I explore to help me untangle how I am perceiving my work?