My mother-in-law is a widow and lives by herself. She’s also religious Jewish and observes the Sabbath (which means not turning on any electricity, no cooking, no TV, no phone, no computer from Friday evening until Saturday evening).
My husband would like to have her over by us for weekends so she won’t be by herself and she is the most easy guest to host. She’s fun, optimistic, easy, and always grateful and not asking for much.
Still, since she’s religious, when she comes to us, we have to follow the religious observing rules and adhere to no electricity of any kind for those 25 hours.
Also, it means that each time she comes, I need to make time on Friday to cook for the entire weekend (whereas if we were alone we would go out for a brunch or order in), and I cannot watch anything, attend a class, meet a friend, or do other things that “break” the Sabbath.
The other issue is that during the week my husband and I are following a Keto diet and each time she comes, she brings Challah bread, pastries, popcorn, and other fatty Jewish foods, and we end up eating all of them with her and easily gain 5 pounds over the weekend.
As she gets older and has no other relatives to go to, I would like to bring myself to a place where I would love for her to come to us even every other weekend, without feeling like her stay jails me or causes me to gain weight.
Of course, I am aware that neither happens, but rather I choose to think it strict me and I am the one chooses to eat the off plan foods she brings.
I tried to use one of Brooke’s methods of asking myself ‘How is this FOR me?’
And all my brain is seeing is how this is for HER (we’re not leaving her alone, she has a family to go to, etc.) but I don’t see (yet) why is it good for me to have this experience?
I want to be able to continue losing weight even if she comes to us with all her food, I want to have her over and not feel resentful that she’s “robbing” my peaceful weekends, I want to feel also, that when she comes, I am still free to maybe go out for a class if I want to, meet a friend, and find a way to do ME while she’s my guest with her restrictions.
Would love your help with that on what mindset will bring me there and again, how is this FOR me?