How long should it take?


Hi Brooke and team,

Thank you so much for this work. I continue to be impressed with what I am learning and applying in my own life. I just finished listening to the recording of the coaching call on September 6th and I’m really struggling to understand how and when it’s necessary to just be present and feel an emotion versus when you can decide or not to change it or drop it/ let it go if it’s not serving you.

Let me shed some light on why I’m getting confused with two different examples. Example 1: Right now, I’m trying to conceive with my husband. Last month, I was experiencing pregnancy like symptoms only to find out later that I wasn’t pregnant. I was pretty devastated. I’m in a slightly better place now about one week later, but still feel sad. I’ve been telling myself things like: “I’m noticing I’m sad and it’s because of my thoughts. It’s OK to feel sad right now.” I guess that if I were to try and change the thoughts that are making me sad, it would feel inauthentic. I working on getting to a place of acceptance and trust in my body and this process, whatever the outcome may be and however long this takes. But it’s a journey for me.

Example 2: My husband has 4 kids from a previous marriage. They’re great kids and I love them. I get mad at them sometimes too – the oldest kid is the most challenging for me to manage my mind around. He’ll do something, and I’ll make myself mad/annoyed/ frustrated. But, what I’ve been doing recently instead of reacting right away is letting myself feel that emotion and then realizing in that moment it doesn’t serve me and that I love this kid, no matter what. Then, I respond from a place of love rather than annoyance/ frustration/ etc. In most cases, I can do this almost instantly and it feels just fine – like the exact right thing to do.

So maybe I’m answering my own question as I’m writing this out – but it seems like the perceived gravity or seriousness of the circumstance – thoughts about the cicumstance- (e.g. for me, not being pregnant feels much more emotionally charged than my stepson doing something I find annoying or frustrating) will determine the length of time you need for the process of understanding, accepting, and changing your thoughts (if you want to, if they’re not serving you). Is that right? Am I getting this or am I missing something?

Thank you!

Kristin