How my husband is speaking to our daughter


I don’t like how my husband is speaking to our daughter sometimes. I think he doesn’t listen to her, doesn’t respect her opinion, doesn’t respect what she wants to do, he is very conventional (I attribute that to his upbringing which was very different than mine, and I think he is acting like his parents, which I don’t like). I also think he creates stress for her (I know it’s not possible, but I see her as a child not being able to change her model), he creates conflict, he creates a bad atmosphere in our home.

C Husband say words to Daughter
T he creates a bad atmosphere in our home
E irritated
A criticize him, ask him to say something else and to use a different tone of voice, speak with irritation, judge my family life
R I create a family life experience that I don’t like

I guess you would ask me: “Your husband saying words to your daughter is just a neutral circumstance. What do you want to think about it if you take all your power back?”

The best thought I came with is “He is a good and bad father”. This way I acknowledge that he is a good father, and also that he does things I don’t like, but I can’t change him, and this is ok (and this is the best experience for our daughter, to have different points of view).

C Husband say words to Daughter
T He is a good and bad father
E acceptance
A don’t ruminate, accept that I don’t like certain things about his behavior, don’t make it a big deal, speak gently to everyone, focus on myself and my behavior
R I create the experience I want

Do you think it’s ok to acknowledge that I don’t like parts of his behavior? This is normal I guess, no one is perfect? I’m a good and bad mother too, so it’s fair he is a good and bad father? I wonder if I will continue to be irritated or really feel acceptance. Thank you for your wonderful feedback!