How to alleviate guilt and forgive yourself.

Hi there, I am discovering that a lot of what’s holding me back is disappointment in myself, guilt over not doing enough, and holding it against myself. I originally thought I was having a struggle between the battle of self discipline and self love. I know intuitively that self discipline ultimately is self love. However in order to get me to do what I plan for myself, or find the motivation to stick to a schedule I tend to bully myself, more of a Drill Sargent stance. So in self defense (lol), self love turns into “compassion” and it’s letting me off the hook of sticking to the plan, saying, it’s ok to veg out on the couch just for today or have the one candy bar. Then it’s back to beating myself up, which again starts the cycle all over. I don’t know what it looks like to not beat myself up AND get me to do what I need to do successfully. A fellow coach pointed out I carry a lot of guilt against myself over not getting everything done. It really hit home when she mentioned it and I suddenly felt all the weight I carry from it. Could you recommend a podcast or a book, or any other resource on how to forgive yourself and release all the guilt?