My husband is a stock trader. He can win or loose 10s of thousands in a day. This greatly effects his mood. Since I am starting a business and reliant on his income, the money and his emotion seem to both effect me. I am working on changing my thinking on this so that on his down days I don’t need to be down as well.
Old Model
C husband stressed bc his stock is down
T Since he is the only one making money I need to support him by being upset too (I know one thought at a time but also thinking: My husband is going to be upset and take it out on me. I need to be worried about money. I am useless bc I don’t make any money right now)
F Feeling anxiety about doing the right thing (and Guilt for not making money and putting all the stress on him)
A My body tenses up. I can’t think clearly. I make mistakes and this leads to my husband being more angry (i know I’m not responsible for this). I am in a bad mood and this feeds my husbands bad mood.

New Model
T My husband is allowed to be upset when his stock is down (I am not responsible for how he feels, He loves me. We are still allowed to have fun and are financially stable no matter how this one day went)
F Grateful
A I am a more fun person to be around and my husband and I can have a good time even on his hard days.

Thank you for any tips!