How to be better at making myself happy

I was recently coached by Brooke on my relationship with my husband. She encouraged me to learn how to better make myself happy, as I am still blaming my husband for the pain and sadness I feel. She emphasized that this should not be making myself happy in spite of what he’s doing (which is what I have been focusing on) but rather because of who he is, which is less clear to me. I understand this conceptually, but I struggle with how to do it. I would appreciate any tips on how to do this next layer of the work. Thanks so much.