How to believe my weight is neutral

I’ve noticed something interesting.

I have a belief that my life will start when I get to a certain weight.

Because of this, I’m a nutcase about the scale. When it goes up, I think “omg I’m doomed. I will be stuck trying to lose weight for the rest of my life.” When it goes DOWN, I think “we’re almost there. Life will begin soon”.

These thoughts are keeping me from believing that the number on the scale is neutral. Both thoughts create feelings (doom and pressure) that make me want to eat.

My mind is currently being blown by this. If the number on the scale meant nothing, and there was no change in my daily life as a result of the number on that scale, I’d be less concerned about losing weight.

For example:

Scale is up 2lbs.
So what?
Well, that means that I might have a bit more fat on my body? An imperceptible amount of extra size maybe.
So what?
Well my underwear might leave a bit more of an indent
So what?
Well it might be a little uncomfortable
So what?
There is an OPTION here. I can make my discomfort mean something, OR I can make it mean NOTHING. I can decide that I will live my way 100% the same whether the scale is up or down.

WHAT IF I just decided that no matter what the number on the scale was, I am going to live life that day EXACTLY the same way??

That starts to make me feel like the scale is neutral. It actually IS neutral if it has no impact on my life whatsoever.

Here is my model

C: scale says 1x5lbs
T: I will do the same thing regardless of my weight. My weight does not impact my life AT all.
F: Equanimity
A: I do the same actions if I were heavier or lighter
R: My weight actually BECOMES neutral.