How to Change your Past Workbook-Lost relationship with teenage daughter


My 1st Significant thing is: Lost Relationship With daughter. The event is ongoing and quick synopsis of the facts are: in 2016 when daughter was 12, her father and I separated and she moved in with her father in another state. Since then she has refused to speak to me. Court ordered visitation has never been honored. I am currently blocked on her phone and unable to contact her via text or phone.

I’ve written my current story about this event, and now I’m working to answer the last two questions:
What is the story you WANT to tell yourself about what this event means?
What can you keep from this event that is powerful and strengthening? What can you let go of?

Here is where I struggle, because I don’t know what I want this event to mean. I just can’t seem to find any “good” thoughts or ideas about what this event should mean. Do you have any tips on how I can brainstorm this?

Also, when I ask what I can keep from this event that is powerful and strengthening it only has to do with me becoming stronger and saying because I’ve lost my relationship with my daughter I’m a stronger person doesn’t help me feel better about the event. I have a thought, “I hate that my daughter has had to live without her mother for 4 years.” That makes me feel sad. I realize I’m holding on to that thought but I don’t believe it’s healthy for any daughter to be without her mom for their teenage years. I can’t find a believable thought to replace this one with.

Should I be doing this exercise for this type of ongoing event?
Maybe I’m not going deep enough in my current story around this situation. Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated, thank you!