How to choose not to to feel so much confusion


Hi–I’ve asked for some help around this situation previously, but now have narrowed down my current unintentional model which I can see is completely not serving me (or anyone). I am in the process of going through the How to Feel Better course and have heard a lot on how confusion and doubt are completely poisonous and do not serve us, and I now believe I have indulged in these feelings A LOT, which have kept me in the A line of not taking action, or not having to take action.

I am looking for some feedback on suggested new thoughts or feelings that might help me start to take actual ACTION, but am struggling. I do realize now finally though that my “problem” isn’t actually the “problem/circumstance” but my THOUGHTS about it. The hard part is even though I recognize these thoughts are JUST thoughts, not FACTS, it still feels so very real and is hard to shift.

Here’s the unintentional model:

C: Relationship
TH: “I need my parents to accept and approve of my relationship with my boyfriend before its okay for him to propose to me and before we can move forward further in our relationship.” I am pretty certain now that this is the thought I’ve fiercely believed for so long and let go completely unquestioned for so long which is the cause of all of my inaction/suffering (and I am aware is completely from an emotional childhood not adulthood place as I am shifting responsibility).
F: Stuck
A: Inaction–don’t engage parent’s in a discussion about it; take actions that discourage bf from actually proposing to me at this current time, hope he doesn’t propose yet (not because I don’t want to be engaged), we do not move forward in our relationship, waiting for it to “magically” somehow get better. Start to question if I am somehow “missing” something (I think this might be a new thought that might just pop up as a new “indulgent thought” to then keep me MORE stuck in inaction, if that makes sense).
R: I do not move the relationship forward/do not get engaged/do not get parent’s approval

I’m identifying so much in module 1 & 2 of the How to Feel Better Course which is where I am at with the women who is struggling about getting married or not and all the confusion/indecision she is indulging in and how it is keeping her stuck. I can see how at this point initially she didn’t understand it was her thoughts driving it and just now is STARTING to get it, and I Feel like that is where I am at right now…with understanding my unintentional model, and how it is fueling my inaction, and recognizing that it is a THOUGHT I have driving it all….but just not yet knowing how to shift it away from the current unintentional model since it’s a thought I have told myself and believed for so long. Appreciate your help! <3