How to deal with lack of control


I’m a doctor working on the frontlines (inpatient care) and we are experiencing a surge in our state. I had expected a shut-down, but we’ve met the criteria for that for weeks, and still no shut down. The governor even wrote an article saying he was not planning to do a shutdown at all this go-around. But we have unchecked spread and exponential rise in cases and hospitalizations. At our hospitals, our census has been so high that 3-4 extra people per day have been coming in to help out. I feel terrified going in for my shifts (which are all admitting shifts) because I have no idea how many admissions I might be called and if they will be too many for me to handle safely. But we don’t really have a backup to call in at night. It feels like a tsunami is quickly approaching and will soon crash down. I worry that my hospital may end up looking like a war zone/like hospitals in NYC and many others. This inability to stop the tsunami causes a lot of anxiety for me- I’m trying to figure out how to be accepting that I can’t do anything to prevent it and try to find my calm in the storm somewhere, but it’s hard. I feel like we may have bad patient outcomes due to staffing shortages or supply shortages eventually, and I find that hard to swallow. Any recommendation on how to calm my anxiety as the tsunami arrives and crashes down?