I immigrated to America eight years ago and studied my MA for two years. I then spent two years trying to get a job. Really, any job. The job market had changed dramatically and so I was offered full-time jobs at an entry levels that pay $30,000 a year. At that point, my husband, who is a self-employed lawyer, said I should think of doing my own thing and not look for someone to hire me. We both decided that I want to pursue career of a writer.
It’s been about four years since then and I have been reading about writing, taking courses and seminars about writing, but mostly being very afraid to write.
At the end of the day we are able to live off of his salary alone but I feel unaccomplished because I feel I don’t produce anything, I fear writing while I have this amazing opportunity to do that, but also, lately I have been noticing how hard everyone around me is working. We are in NYC and when I sit in cafes and talk with the waiters, they all work seven days a week in two or three jobs, on their feet all day, trying to pay student loans or support their acting careers. They are exhausted but they expect no one to provide them, they are making ends meet on their own.
So I spoke with my husband and told him maybe I should go and look for a job and he said that it might be even more difficult for me now to explain to an employer what did I do for the last eight years when I was unemployed and that it is best I should get my head straight on how do I become a prolific writer rather than looking for a way to feel accomplished by working at a job I will hate to bring a ridiculous salary home.
I want to feel accomplished daily by knowing that I ‘went to work’ and did my daily done with my writing and still feel accomplished. How do I feel accomplished as an unemployed then?