I know relationships are so important, and sometimes I have amazing connections with people and feel so grateful for support, shared joy, amazing conversation, etc. But the good periods can seems short-lived and everyone hurts, disappoints or frustrates me eventually (sometimes often). I’m really seeing the differences between me and others. Partially, I realize this is the human condition.
But also, I realize I am the common denominator and apparently I have manuals for everyone in my life. I am struggling to believe that things can really change and that eventually (through my work in Scholars?) I’ll be able to truly enjoy my relationships and feel secure, intimate and connected. Before I was thinking that I just needed boundaries and to pick better people, but now I am feeling like I am the issue. I feel like I am clinging to my manuals tightly.