How to feel neutral


My husband has been chronically underemployed our entire 15 year marriage. He’s waiting to hear whether he will get a job he interviewed for last week. It would be such a relief if he got the job. I’ve been here before and been dissappointed. His employment situation has been a major stressor in our marriage. Part of me wants to do what I’ve always done: disengage, stay focused on my business….and in the best case scenario, stay neutral. But I find myself imagining him getting the job, what that would mean, etc. and I find myself feeling hopeful again, which feels dangerous. Any advice appreciated.