How to Feel our Feelings? Not judge our feelings?

I have had a serious of events this weekend and in general add up and provoke the thought “I need a vacation.” I have somehow absentmindedly done something to kill my car battery 4 times this month.

This past weekend, I went to TN to backpack and already felt like it was too much but didn’t want to miss out or let my friends down. It turned out to be fun, but my phone died while there and I couldn’t get it back on. I chose to come early since I was already feeling overwhelmed about taking the trip and was satisfied with the amount of time I had there. Then, I was not able to get the phone fixed so I had to get friends to text my work for me.

Today I got up to go to work and the car was dead AGAIN for the 4th time. (the 3rd time ironically was just the day before my trip!) I was able to find a way to get it handled, but I feel stressed out because I will have to stay an hour later at work now since I will be getting there an hour late. I think it messes up my day, it ruins my schedule, etc.

But the first thought I had was “I need a vacation.” Because I’m observing myself being in an almost constant state of forgetfulness and overwhelm and lack of focus. But I don’t WANT to take a vacation because I am trying to save money and build a business so I think I am judging the thought “I need a vacation” or at least trying to convince myself that I don’t need one.

How do I feel this and also choose not to take a vacation? I think I think there’s something wrong with me when something like this happens so many times in a row and my brain looks for an answer and the answer is I must just be stressed out because I need a vacation. Which is funny because I kind of went on a “vacation” over the weekend. What I need a vacation from is my mindset! (But that feels very judgmental of my attitude as well).

I want to feel positive and happy and just laugh it off like it’s no big deal, but my brain is trying to make it mean that I’m not taking care of myself and I’m not paying attention and I need to get away from all of this stress but I’M THE CAUSE OF MY OWN STRESS. I don’t think I would be getting myself in situations like this if I wasn’t trying to rush around and do everything.