I think my marriage is going downwards- I’m simply exhausted to work on my brain every single minute when I’m around my husband – I want to accept him the way he is, understanding that the reason he acts like an asshole and calls me names, blaming me for shit I don’t even know why, that he is hurting in some ways and I am still here because I try to feel compassionate. It helps for a moment and then boom hits me again with something. I’m in two feelings constantly – victim and indifference.
How do I keep loving him despite everything he says and how he acts around me???? All I want is to run away. We used love to spend time together, now it’s a torture. We bought beautiful properties in past year because of this work that I do.