How to grieve over the loss of a child

Recently, my husband put in a disruption of adoption (which means the child is removed from our home) for the kiddo we have been in the process of adopting over the last 5 months. She had shown some serious behaviors which led my husband to arrive at this decision (she tried to kill me). However, I still wanted to love her and adopt her and now that isn’t happening.

I am trying to grieve this loss but want to find the way to do so without resentment and with acceptance. How would I go about grieving in a way that is healthy vs. toxic?

Thank you so much!