I historically have filled my time with activities that release tons of dopamine: alcohol, porn, weed, tobacco, gaming .. whenever I was feeling super uncomfortable.

I have gotten better through this program at feeling my feelings. Now, I want to get better at feeling my feelings AND also replace these old patterns with new hobbies. I keep finding (I don’t know  if the right word is) resistance. Let’s say I’m going to practice dance instead, roller blading, or learning some new skill/studying at night time (when I would usually buffer), I find it REALLY HARD to just do that new thing.

I also notice almost this analysis paralysis on deciding what to do. I want to learn to sing, practice dance more, and other creative skills yet there is this resistance almost like it feels like I’m forcing something. I can’t tell if it’s a resistance to the actual activity or maybe my brain is just wanting the old lifestyle back.