How to help my 9yo daughter overcome her fear of performing in public


My 9yo daughter is good at making friends and also has good sports and music abilities. She used to take private swim lessons and her instructor told me she was the best student he had at this age and she should definitely be competing, but she never wanted to. She also went to gymnastics but never wanted to participate in competitions. I am very competitive and wanted her to excel but respected her decisions and never signed her up for a team.

She also plays guitar with a private instructor and does it really good, but this year she joined the school band (almost forced by me) and is extremely afraid to play in front of others. She has cried twice in the past couple of days because she will have to play in front of the school teacher.

This is not about a model or trying to make her be a certain way, she is young and I want to find encouraging words to let her know that it is ok to compete or play music in front of others. I try to be an example, I am a very slow runner and I still run races always finish in the last 10%, she knows that but still she says that is different.

Any suggestions? Thank you.