I just listened to brooke’s live call and at the end she coached 2 people on relationships…so good! It’s leading me to do a lot of work but I could use a bit of coaching as I dive into this work. I understand that our thoughts create our feelings. I also understand that we can just love our partners as they are. I thought of this last night as I was loving on my 15 year-old dog. My dog is old, stinky, pooping in the house and near the end of life. Despite all this, I love my dog whole heartedly. His physical appearance has changed, he acts differently, but I still love him 100%. That’s my job- to love my dog- no manual. With my husband, there are things that I’d like for him to do (the manual) but I just take care of myself. I don’t rely on my husband to do things around the house, make me feel better, etc. What I keep getting stuck on is the physical attraction piece. I’m having a hard time fully believing that my thoughts can lead me to be more attracted to him. I feel my body repel when he touches me. I don’t like the way he kisses me. The physical intimacy is boring and not enjoyable. When I ask myself, what would I need to think to get to a place where I want him physically, I think of things that are external- with him and I know it needs to be with me but can’t seem to figure that piece out. I just can’t pretend that I like the way he looks or feels. I’ve never fully been attracted to him. Looking back in my life, I’ve just always been the type of person to always have a man in my life- probably due to some insecurity and reinforcement from feeling wanted. He was the first to propose and here I am 11 years later. I was recently deployed with the army out of the country and after I returned home I found myself noticing how much I’d like to enjoy some physical intimacy but surprised and feeling pain that I don’t feel that at all with him. I never really enjoyed the physical part in the past but now I feel like this is something I really want to enjoy. I’m just feeling disbelief that this is something my thoughts can do. For example, there are people I can look at and say “that person is beautiful, hot, attractive, etc.” And while my husband is a wonderful human being, he’s not someone I would say is physically attractive. Is it possible to have an intimate and physically pleasurable relationship with someone you aren’t not physically attaracted to?