How to know if I need more time to feel before processing through the model?

Hi! I am a few months from being separated from my husband. It has been a mostly amicable split and I care and respect for him. And, of course, adjusting to this new separateness between us is also still hard and sad and painful at times. I have been using the model and it’s been really helpful. But at times (this morning, for instance – when I found out he’s dating someone new) I wondered if I was trying to rush the “processing”. How can I tell if I should allow for more time to just “be” with the feeling and let it happen before I use the model? What are the thoughts around giving the feeling room to breathe or settle before changing the thought? Thank you!