How to let go of expectations for our children?

I’m studying the self coaching podcast with Brooke – April 27th- Call with Kim about her son. I’m in a similar situation (the C are different but the Ts are the same). I want to let go of my expectations for my 20 year-old son. I don’t want to fake it this time. I want to let him be the way he is without judging him and love him unconditionally. I’m in the place of letting my heart break because he chooses to do what he wants with his own life. I’ve written down all my expectations for him, made a list of twenty, sat down with this, trying to let go of them-
Have you got a magic recipe for that? How do you let go without faking it? Meditation?

My model (not a good one, I think there are several models in one-I’m new to this practice;-)
C: my son
T: He should take better care of himself (eat well, sleep, work less, be more effective)
F: Powerless and disconnected (he doesn’t want to talk to me because he knows I will judge him and lecture him)
A: Trying to change my thoughts too quickly, faking it
R : Falling back in the same trap every time I have him on the phone, telling him what he should do-> more disconnected

Maybe I have to treat this desire to tell him what he should do like an urge??

Thanks for your insight.