How to let go

I have come to the conclusion that I have to let go of my best friend. We’ve been friends for at least 14 years. The thing is, they don’t follow through. Now, I know I have NOTHING to do with that. That’s his issue. However, my thought is that if when he’s talking about personal growth and not actually DOING it, it really bothers me. Again, I know that’s my issue and not his.

My thought is, if I just pull away and go on my journey alone, it would be better. Then, I’ll think about my life without him and I don’t want to.

It’s kind of like, I see him drowning and I want to save him. I jump in to save him and instead of trying to save himself, he’s pulling me down with him….and now we’re both drowning.

As I’m typing this, I’m seeing how defeating it is. Anyway, here’s the thing. I want to stop caring so much about how he’s ok with his life instead of constantly improving….like I am. I want to constantly improve and it’s like I want to drag him with me, even though I know I can’t. I want to improve in life and I want him to want to improve his too…and actually DO it.

How can I get out of my own head and let him be him….and just work on me?

I really love him and I want the best for him.

I know this is all over the place, but so are my thoughts right now.