How to process a break-up- Follow-up


Ask yourself:
“Why am I believing these thoughts are true?”
“Do I want to believe these thoughts?”
“Do I have any evidence that these thoughts are not true?”

Why I am believing the thought “I’m boring, not enough, unlovable” I guess because I have a belief that extroverts, more outgoing people are better, more interesting. Intellectually I know that’s not the case, I guess maybe I haven’t had to challenge this thought as much because sometimes I am making friends and connecting but when I’m not I make it mean there’s something wrong with me, I need to improve to be accepted

I don’t want to believe these thoughts because they’re painful and I can see how they don’t serve a purpose. I thought I knew what other people think is about them but I’ve taken on his thoughts as truths about me.

I do have evidence they aren’t true (my brain wants argue and to say only sometimes) I do reach out to friends occasionally to get together. I asked him out vs the other way around, I went with him to Thailand and his friends who I didn’t know after only knowing him 3 mos. I’ve gone on group bike rides where I don’t know anyone (but my brain says I also didn’t try to make friends).

I’m very judgmental and hard on myself for not having a network of friends where I live, I have 6 very close girlfriends who I love but all live in other cities not mine, so I make that mean that I don’t have friends. And now that he doesn’t want to be with me I feel like my lack of community here is another thing wrong with me.

I want to be less judgmental and more accepting of who I am so this is my first model:
C: ??
T: being an introvert doesn’t make me less worthy
F: acceptance

Can you guide me with more thoughts and suggestions to let go of this belief I’m holding as truth that I’m less than for being an introvert and not having friends? Thanks!