How to step up without beating myself up

I am trying to work on my motivation and actions. I am struggling to find a way of motivating myself and challenging myself to do all the things I want to do without having to beat myself up and push myself hard in order to get myself going. This is a hugely familiar pattern for me in that I used to push myself incredibly hard and now I associate all ‘work’ with that horrible pressure (or I avoid it entirely and run away which means I get nowhere and do nothing and beat myself up for ‘failing’). I have been trying to work on the thoughts behind all of this but I’m feeling stuck. Do you have any suggestions?