I recently came to the realization that I spent quite a lot of time a day with negative self talking.

I used to try to change to thought which as you can imagine did not really work out. My brain is so convinced that the thought is actually a reflection of reality that an alternative thought has almost no chance.

Since a few days I’ve been trying to use compassion to deal with my habits of negative self talking. Instead of blaming myself that I think useless thoughts that actually prevent me from reaching my goal, I try to have empathy with myself.

Even though that works much better, I am still left with the thought that originally caused the negative self talk and I still think the thought reflects reality quite well.

Do you have any advice how to build a better relationship with oneself and stop the negative self talk?

Here is an example of a typical model below:

C – my bosses say working abroad is a must to succeed in this career – I have not worked abroad yet and decided not to work on a long term abroad since family is important to me
T – I am a coward and have little chances to get the job/career I want to have.
F – worthless
A – often in a bad mood, want to escape my current situation, see no way out, argue with myself, beat myself down, tell myself that it was stupid to be in a relationship and enter this sector, question my decision to not go abroad for an extended period
R – my brain is spinning in negative/unproductive feelings; no self-worth; I don’t get to the career I want nor enjoy where I am at

Thank you!