HSP Highly Sensitive Person

Hi there,
I think that I am an HSP or highly sensitive person. I have read that we comprise 15%-20% of the population. Being sensitive can be a superpower but it can also be very challenging. I have an ex husband who is a narcissist and our therapists (we went to several) all explained to me separately that narcissists and empaths often find each other. My ex knows how sensitive I am and how and where to “cut” me deep and he seems to do this for entertainment. I know it feeds him when I react and I should stop but it is so hard for me. I think most people could probably brush off a lot of what he does or says but being so sensitive it is more challenging for me. I know this is my work though. Growing up an only child, I didn’t even have siblings to tease me and toughen me up so I am intensely sensitive. I do models and get relief but in the moment it is often very challenging for me to take that pause and become the watcher of my thoughts before feeling the unwanted feeling… I think it’s partly because I am so thin skinned and need to toughen up but my sensitivity is also a part of who I am and I don’t want to make it bad or wrong. Is there any advice for us empaths?