I understand I am responsible for the way I feel, and that I can meet my own needs. Apparently, the rest of the world doesn’t agree.
If my partner comes to me and says “hey, when you said that you thought I bought too many things from Target and that I didn’t need all that stuff, it hurt my feelings”.
I assume the correct answer isn’t “you hurt your own feelings, go do some thought-work”, although, if the roles were reversed that’s what I’d do.
What’s the right way to respond? “Hey, thanks for telling me that. How can I help?” so, I’m still being compassionate without trying to take responsibility for their feelings?
SO often in the therapy / self-help world we’re taught to ask “How can I make it better?” but doesn’t that seem odd, if people are fully responsible for their own feelings?