Husband abused our child- moving forward

Last weekend my husband punched, pulled my child’s hair and picked him up and threw him. I ended up going into hiding and getting a protection order against him. I am working to process what happened and getting to where I accept it without condoning. My dominant thought is I wish this didnt happen. I dont think my child deserves this. I am working on a ladder thought of it happened and thats okay but I am struggling to believe it. I don’t necessarily think this is a situation where I dont want to feel angry about ehat happened because it is what propelled me to leave and do what I had to do legally. I just dont want to be in self pitty about it.