Husband and sister don’t get along


I am beating myself up for the negative thoughts I’m having about the negative thoughts I have about the relationship between my husband and sister. I have been coached on it. I’m supposed to let adults act however they want to and be ok with their relationship no matter what. I’m so sad and so angry. I want to figure out how to have a relationship with both of them but I’m not sure I want to have a relationship with my sister.

We just bought a home in the same town as her. I was bullied by her as a child and have spent my whole life recovering, moving forward and loving her anyway. Now (and since we’ve been dating) she continuously looks for reasons to not like my husband. She talks to my mother about him and how awful she thinks he is. My mother shares with my father. They have also been looking for reasons he’s not a good guy for me since we started dating.

I love all of these people and want there to be peace amongst them but it seems impossible. I have worked so hard to have a wonderful relationship with all of them separately but am struggling so much with how to accept their relationships with each other and how to navigate so I am not constantly ruminating on how bad it is. How do I love them all and not let their relationships bring me to such a place of despair? How do I practice acceptance of their relationships and minimize how intensely my brain wants to focus on it?