My husband told me in September that he loves another woman and is leaving me after 15 years of marriage. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do or think, with the help of Scholars and the model I am doing much better now.
Nothing had been discussed yet what’s going to happen with our house, our animals and the business we run together when he left beginning of October to visit the other woman who lives far away. After 4 weeks with her, he just go back home today.

I wasn’t sure what to expect but so far he acts as everything was normal, he gave me a hug and a kiss and told me about his trip …. After being so devastated it seems now I can’t really feel anything, it’s almost like I am indifferent. I let him behave as nothing was wrong and that it was normal that he goes to be with another woman for 4 weeks.

I understand my thoughts about the situation are creating my feelings not his actions but the thing is, I don’t seem to feel anything, I am numb and indifferent and because of that I stay passive and play along. Here my models

UM
C – Husband back home
T – He shouldn’t act as nothing was wrong, he’s normalizing what he’s doing
F – numb, indifferent
A – I am passive and play along
R – I let him normalize what he is doing

IM
C – Husband back home
T – He shouldn’t act as nothing was wrong, we need to talk
F – empowered, confident
A – I start the difficult conversation and set boundaries
R – We are both clear where we go from here

I am not sure about both models, the UM does confirm my thought, I am just not sure about the feeling because it seems like I don’t feel anything and therefore I stay passive and powerless. The IM is how I believe *I should* be thinking and feeling and therefore act, but I don’t seem to get there. Any tips?