Husband Comments

Most part of my life is very manageable for me but I fail miserably at times when it comes down to handling verbal derogatory comments by my husband of 16 yrs( by next month). He often finds some fault in many aspects of my life. Ex: it is almost guaranteed 100% of the time he will have something negative to comment on after we meet someone or after a gathering. Most of the time I let it go for my own sanity but at times the negative tone of the comment is simply unfathomable for me. Most recent comment ” you are such an embarrassment to be around” after a very conversation that I had with his employee(who is personal grind of mine and much closer to me) I can go into details but it serves no purpose here ,as it is almost impossible to come out of any conversation and not get yelled at by him. If I stay silent in a gathering he says ” you are full of your self that is why no one likes you” . I honestly don’t care if anyone likes me or not. I love myself enormously before even I started listening to Brooke. I am beautiful, have a successful career, above all I am beautiful in and out. My patients and staff adore me. My kids even say ” they are proud to say they are my children any day ” at times it almost feels it so wrong to stay with him but I truly love him since when we are 16 yr old. We built the careers and life together. Except for this derogatory verbal comments.. I don’t have other concerns in our relationship. Most embarrassing thing is: with in few minutes of talking like this he expect to have sex. I am struggling to set a boundary and just accepting the way he is doesn’t seem right. I feel hurt and I rarely cry but when at times I did cry silently over this. He is very short tempered and these conversations are not happening in private but in front of kids. Recently I observe that he makes these comments as though they are jokes with the kids. Fortunately our boys (8 and 10 yr)are much more mature than he is. My 10 yr old told me … just not respond as it is not right. I am open to self coach myself and want to be able to process these derogatory comments with less pain. Thank you