C – I start my business social media Instagram account on September 7, 2020.
C – Husband agrees that he “will show support by liking my posts.”
C – As of October 5, 2020, my business social media Instagram account has 31 posts, Husband has “liked” 0 of my posts, and Husband unfollows me.
T – He doesn’t support me.
F – Upset
A – I go back and forth between blocking and unblocking him. I ruminate about why he didn’t “like” my posts even when he said he would. I wonder pointlessly why he stopped following me. I doubt myself. I question myself. I spin out. I stay in bed. I cry. I don’t do my planned photo shoot. I don’t show up the way I want to.
R – I don’t support myself.
I know I don’t need for him or anyone else to support the work I’m trying to do in the world. It just hurts to see the evidence that I am perceiving as my husband not caring or thinking I’m not good enough.
I ask myself: What if I had my own back? What would that look like?
The problem is, I’m really really struggling with having my own back right now. What can/should I be thinking to have my own back?