Husband Doesn’t Want Sex And I’m Not Sure What To Do About It

This has been a struggle in our marriage for many years. I am constantly the one asking for sex or initiating. We have had countless conversations about this and he reassures me he enjoys it and wants to. We have put plans in place to have more sex, marked it on our calendars and more often than not he finds his way out of it.

He says he is too tired, he forgot, something at work came up and he has to handle that, uses our daughter as an excuse.

I know it has something to do with him and not me but I find myself thinking I’m not good enough, I’m gross, he must not love me.

I have even battled the thought is sex really that important to me? Could I stayed married to him if we never had sex again? And honestly I’m not sure I could. I feel like I have exhausted all the efforts I know how (even though I’m sure I haven’t)

I have also asked myself am I okay with being the one who initiates sex 95% of the time? Because he will initiate maybe 4-5 times a year . When I initiate, my thoughts go to, I’m controlling, he didn’t really want it and just wants to please me, I must be ugly since he rarely initiates.