I need help with my feelings I’m generating around my husbands drinking.
My thoughts are:
I can’t believe he is still drinking after 14 days of partying. I need to tell him he has to stop. Its just getting worse. Its not OK. This isn’t fair. I’m not happy. Here we go again. I’m so over this.
The circumstance is I get home from work and I see him sipping on a beer while he’s making dinner.
All those thoughts go through my head.
I’ve had coaching and I’ve been a scholar for a long time so I know that he gets to do whatever he wants. And I know that my thoughts are creating my feelings. But I think I end up feeling tension and resistance because I’m trying to block out all those other thoughts and I’m almost blaming myself for having those thoughts.
I have the idea that all my thoughts about my husband need to get cleaned up before I set a boundary or even say anything to him. But I haven’t managed to clean up those automatic thoughts so I just sit there with that resistance and tension on top of the resentment and anger. And then most of the time I will snap at him or ignore him or some other passive aggressive action.
The overall result is that I don’t have an adult conversation with him, I act kind of crazy and bitchy. and our overall relationship is disconnected and from where I stand broken.
I look forward to your guidance in this.