Husband Drinking

My husband drinks alcohol 4-5 times a week, sometimes to the point of being drunk. He drinks in larger quantity when we travel. I am having difficulty letting this be neutral because of what happens when he drinks or gets drunk (which is more circumstances that I have a slew of negative thoughts about!). Thoughts range from he’s irresponsible to embarrassing to I can’t trust him to look out for himself or me. The feelings on these models are “anxious, afraid, alone, embarrassed.” I can get to a (slightly more) intentional model where the thought is “his drinking has nothing to do with me” but in honesty I know the drinking as a circumstance still isn’t neutral to me, so any of the thoughts in my models aren’t getting to a neutral or positive feelings/actions /results. Thank you in advance for your insight.