Husband gives too many suggestions (from a well-intended place) but I don’t need them.


C: Husband says “You are not doing any stretching, tell me what exercise do you do for yourself? How will your tendon get better if you don’t do it consistently.”
T: He is not helping and added 10 more things to my list.
F: Super overwhelmed
A: I start to cry. I tell him sometimes I don’t need any suggestions. I only needed you to say “it’s ok, you have so much on your plate right now, you can tackle this next.” I tell him sometimes I don’t need suggestions, and solutions. I know them all. I only needed to hear that it is ok to not do somethings if you can’t handle them right now.
R: I don’t help myself and add more things to my mental list.

___

C: Same
T: I will consider his suggestions but I have a choice about when I want to do those things.
F: Empowered
A: Make a list of all the things. Do a quick assessment of my thoughts on those projects and tell myself a better story about all of them. I choose to DO them instead of thinking about them. I tell myself, there is no rush. it can all be done one by one. I put them in my calendar. I choose not to indulge in my Victim stories. I do 15 min yoga to move my body. I switch off my phone to avoid buffering. I do the model. I decide to tell him calmly at another time – that Suggestions are not always helpful.
R: I create choice and space in my mind to do things.

I also feel like I was expecting a hug and him telling me “It’s ok, I will help you to get things done, but don’t worry. you can do this.” Instead of leaving me to myself – to avoid hurting himself. Any coaching on this please and feedback on the model?

Thanks