I got off the “Brooke wagon” this weekend and I can really tell. Husband and I got in argument. . .it could have been a nothing argument where I chose to love him and move ahead . . .but I’ve made it mean that he’s an asshole (again). Now we are in a bit of what seems like a power struggle. I’ve chosen NOT to be the person to initiate the conversation to “talk about things with him” because I am always the one to do that and I am tired of it. Then I think – would you rather be happy or right? But the thing is, I am happy. Just not real happy with him right now 🙂 Which is a BIG shift because I used to let things like this throw me for a loop and obsess over it and not be happy in my own life. I thoroughly enjoyed my day, my life, the glorious day.
Question is . . .how do I decide how I want to handle it this time? I know I could easily talk to him and say, “Hey . . things got blown out of proportion with our argument and I’m sorry for my part, etc.” But part of me is like – he was kind of an asshole and I don’t feel like doing that.
Other issue – when I’m in this spot with him, I’m see myself adding to the story of what’s wrong with him. I can see the law of attraction clearly at work – my negative thoughts about him attracting more negative thoughts. So, I got this parenting email that had something on it about “do you have a time management problem. . .you might have something more than that is you are addicted to being late.” Anyway, I immediately thought of my husband and thought, and made the diagnosis that yes, he has this problem and this is just another reason why I don’t like him right now and why he has problems and why doesn’t he get his shit together. Can you offer me some other thoughts about this please? Like my husband is late a lot. . . It’s not a big deal. etc. But, I really don’t like it and feel like it is a big deal. I’ll stop!