husband nagging me about parenting stuff


There is an ongoing issue in my marriage where my husband has a manual for my son (his stepson). Every time my son doesn’t follow my husband’s manual, my husband nags me about it. Any time he is home he will immediately demand my attention to vent about his frustration at actions my son has taken. For example, at 11:30 PM when I was reading in bed trying to get to sleep, this morning when I was clearly focused on writing in my journal, etc.

I don’t know if the situation calls for acceptance, communication, or boundaries, and I don’t know what any of those would look like.

I’m stuck on an intentional model and I would appreciate input on how to tackle this.

UM
C husband tells me about son’s actions with a raised voice while I am occupied
T I can’t stay focused when my husband repeatedly harasses me about son’s actions.
F frustrated
A try to address his concern verbally, tell him I will address his concerns with my son, try to get the interaction over with as soon as possible, seethe internally
R Not focused, husband still annoyed.

IM
C husband tells me about son’s actions with a raised voice while I am occupied
T ??
F loving {this is how I want to feel}
A ??
R ??