Good morning, Brooke,
I need help with this model and my thinking about my husband. I am determined to keep after this habit that creates so many negative results for me. Now that I am more aware, I see it’s a whole lifestyle for me, and I can CHANGE that. I’ve lost over 55 pounds so far and that is a not-so-small miracle.
C – After dinner kitchen clean up (I cook, he cleans.)
T – He doesn’t clean up everything like he used to; leaves a little more undone every month.
F – angry — put upon
A – clean up remaining tasks in the morning while fuming in my head with silent pissy attitude. Martyr.
R – ?? Cleaning up my thinking is undone?
I’d like to feel neutral but am so married to the unintentional model that an intentional model is hidden by my brain. Why does lack of resolution about this make my brain think I’m safe? Is it just the familiar? (I want to just wring things….). Or maybe my answer right now is to just allow myself to feel angry and frustrated and put upon and notice that. Without fixing it. Or hating him. Allow that’s it’s all my own. Without blame. ( Deep breath.)
I am attending the Masterclass next month specifically to coach myself more effectively around victimhood, including this kind of thinking.