My husband is a great guy and my very best friend in the world, but I’ve got a big problem with him. I need him to just listen to me and understand me without giving advice or telling me stories about how he’s felt something similar. I have told him this multiple times, in multiple ways, and we’re now getting in fights about it. Part of the problem is that he is always so damn distracted. He doesn’t know how to do anything but multi-task – he even uses his phone or tablet while he’s doing yoga. I have told him I want his full attention when I want to discuss an issue, but he cannot seem to give it to me. It feels like he is just biding his time until he can wrap up the conversation and get on with other things that he deems more important than listening to his wife. He usually wraps things up by giving me advice I didn’t ask for, which just makes me feel more frustrated than not talking to him at all. Sometimes I just want someone to listen and understand. So when I tell him that he says “So you want me to just be a robot and repeat everything back that you say?” No, that’s not what I want.
I have a lot on my mind these days – and the way that I deal with things is by talking about them – a lot. I’m starting to feel very anxious because things are starting to build up and I don’t have a way to express myself. I don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. And now I’m feeling a lot worse because the one person in the world that I trust most isn’t able or willing to give me what I need right now.
I’m wondering if I should just book time with a therapist?