My husband rejects me most times when I try to initiate intimacy with him.

During my 20 minute coaching session I spoke about this. My coach asked me how I want to feel in the marriage.

Part of my work has been to intentionally think thoughts that produce the feelings I want to feel in my marriage. I want to feel “desired” among other things.

In trying to come up with a thought, I tried to come up with thoughts that have evidence and feel believable by recalling times I felt desired in my marriage in the past. I recalled “there are many times when my husband has initiated intimacy with me”.

When I think this thought and feel “desired”, the corresponding action is “I would initiate intimacy”. The problem is that the result I come up with is “he would reject me” because he has rejected me so many times before.

So I’m feeling stuck and unable feel wanted or desired in my marriage. Please help. Thank you in advance.

PS- I have tried to let my husband’s lack of positive response/reciprocity to my advances not mean anything about me personally. But he has told me it’s because I’m not affectionate enough among other personal things, so it is actually personal.