Husband says “ You did not earn Anything for 9 years.”

I quit my job and had my son. My son is 7 Yrs old now. In that time we moved cities, uprooted our life and came back to our hometown. We lived in a different country than our family. In that time, I was alone, my husband was busy with his business, I found out my son is on the autism spectrum. That was a difficult time and I am not sure how I survived it but I did. In all of that I didn’t earn for many years. I was also lost and didn’t have the tools. I had hit rock bottom of my confidence. I wanted to be a mother who could figure out parenting a son and focus on him. In all that time I was also trying to find out  about coaching, business & learning some skills.

One thought that my husband keeps saying every time he’s upset with me – almost like an arrow in his arsenal that hurts me the deepest is: “You didn’t earn anything for 9 years.”

This thought is my worst nightmare. It makes me feel worthless and like my life and I don’t matter at all.

I get so enraged every time I hear this thought. I have worked a lot in working through the shame with this. At one point I thought I was done with it.

I could see when I detached, I started to create results in my business too.

But my husband said it again when he was upset with me, and my anger came raging back. It hurts me soooo deeply that I can’t tell you in words.

I feel like this thought takes me back to square one. From this place of shame, I blame money for my misery, I associate pain with money, rejection and so many heavy emotions. And I feel like how can I create money from this deep place of pain and shame.

Any guidance to cure this pain please.