Husband thinks I should quit

I’ve been in Scholars for the majority of two years. Right now, we’re struggling with finances and my husband thinks I should quit to save the money. He thinks not much has changed in the last 6 months, though acknowledges the changes that happened prior to that. Money is probably my hardest issue as far as changing beliefs and creating more, even though I’ve watched all the money courses and done all the exercises. I feel like I’ve been getting coached on it for years and keep repeating the same patterns of overspending and underearning. I feel like even if I did quit Scholars, my obsessive spending brain would find something else to spend the money on every month. Another program, another course, another whatever.

I haven’t been completely honest with my husband about my spending habits, but he does know I am short now that I experienced an income reduction. His response is to tell me to curb everything. I see his point. I also see that we have a condo on the market and even though we have no current offers, it doesn’t mean it won’t sell at some point. I see we’re not in danger of starving or not paying for housing.

I do see where I’m not sticking to a spending protocol or creating more cash flow. This does look like a problem to me. And now it’s at the point where it’s noticeable to others. Namely my husband who chooses to be more frugal and doesn’t impulse buy.

I have so much shame around my money management. I don’t even want to go to a coach and give them the facts of what I’ve spent this year and on what. Especially during a pandemic when so many people are struggling to survive, I’m burning my finances down and ending up short on taxes when this could have been prevented.

I don’t know what the solution is exactly since I haven’t found the exact thoughts that push me to spend like this. I doubt quitting Scholars is it.