We bought a house 4 years ago and it’s been quite the DIY project. We severely underestimated how much time and money we’d need to renovate the house.

We’ve been doing things little by little over that time and it’s been especially frustrating for my husband as he’d like to see it done, but we don’t have the budget to finish everything and he doesn’t even have the health anymore. He had back surgery and can’t lift anything heavy and has to be careful about his standing/sitting/bending positions.

He took a month’s break on working on anything for the house because he was fed up. We live in Florida and had planned to install the sprinklers around this time because it’s way too hot at any other time of the year. My cousins are coming to help out since my husband is limited in what he can do. But, my husband is dreading it, even though it would be just one day to plan and one day to do the work.

He says he doesn’t want to do it because he’s had enough of working on this house. This thought gives him feelings of dread. We talked about it before bedtime in a normal discussion but he wasn’t able to sleep afterward thinking about working on the sprinklers and all the prep work involved. I knew it was going to be a long night for him when within 15 minutes of trying to sleep, he picked up his phone to buffer his emotions.

The SCS in me wants to at least present him with an alternative thought that’s more positive. I told him maybe instead he can think, “I’m open to the possibility that working on the house won’t be that bad because I have help.” He kind of laughed at that and rolled his eyes because it doesn’t sound like something the average person would say (only a SCS!) so I guess it didn’t resonate with him.

I hate to see him this way and want to help if I can. What else can I present him with? Is it even worth it if he’s not asking for it?