Husband Wants Me To Make Him Happy

I have a good husband. He works hard to support our family and he is a good dad. He’s also a really generous person. He picks up hitchhikers and buys homeless people lunch. I admire him and I love him. I want to stay married to him. This is my circumstance line as he has recently said these things to me, “I resent you for not putting me first” “You try to understand everyone except for me” “good marriages happen when each person tries to make the other person happy.” I feel like I am doing my very best. I am showing up how I want to in our marriage. But his focus on my shortcomings is hard to see as neutral. My thought is that he expects me to be different than I am. He resents me for not bending over backwards to try and make him happy. I have been trying to manage his thoughts and feelings our whole marriage. It never worked! Just recently I have decided to make myself happy and just love him. He is very resistant to this. Can you help me find a thought so that I can continue to honor myself and not give in and take on the responsibility of making him happy?