My husband is having difficulty with his mood recently. He has a history of depression and recently went off of his medications. I have moved through my thoughts about this … my first one being “he is an asshole” which made me feel angry with him. I have worked to a place where now this is my model:

C: Husband’s mood
T: He is suffering
F: Upset
A: Not able to focus at work
R: I’m also suffering

This same thought pattern tends to come up whenever my kids are going through something difficult too. I understand that as a part of the human experience, we all suffer, but I have trouble believing a positive thought when my loved ones are suffering.